For my first juggling act of 2010, in January I will move, travel 10 days for work, teach a large class, appear at another speaking engagement, present a booth at a festival, finish a powerlifting training cycle, help several friends ready for deployment, and celebrate my 25th birthday.
When merely looking at your appointment book can send you into peals of laughter (aside: I highly recommend Brush Dance if you are looking for a day planner, they produce inspiring, affordable products that are formatted for maximum use), it is probably smart to refrain from adding additional tasks to the workload. What, then, to do about the obligatory "New Year's Resolution?"
I say "obligatory" because every good American, regardless of what we might say, feels some level of obligation to formulate a resolution, if for no other reason than to have something to talk about at New Year's Eve parties and avoid an appearance of the consummate lazy Western slob. I am not immune, despite the realization that I am constantly formulating, revising, and achieving goals; despite the fact that I know winter is not the time we are physiologically wired to pursue ambitious new objectives; despite the knowledge that my proverbial plate is joyfully sliding all over the table as it is, and cannot tolerate one more task piled precariously on top before the whole thing goes crashing to the floor. It's all fun and games to make resolutions until you lose your ability to hang onto any of them.....
As I reflected last night, bathed in the frantic, caressing glow of a blue moon and too much champagne, I realized that rather than thinking in terms of "tasks and goals," I can capitalize upon the New Year by thinking in terms of "attitudes and perspectives." Adjusting, shifting, and refining my perspective at the beginning of 2010 will even enhance my ability to accomplish concrete objectives. For instance, I intend to finish my first book by fall, an exploration of cyclical living and discussion of how and why such a lifestyle is vital to our ability to thrive. With the workload outlined above, I often find myself stressed and anxious about how and when I will actually find time to write. A nervous approach does nothing to help me tap into the fearlessness necessary to explore the topic, to share words and ideas and thoughts in full. A harried energy distracts me from pursuing the experiences and people necessary to my continued development as a creator and an artist.
Going further, to a more honest place, I will share that there are times I feel split into two as a result of stress and the demand that I perform and live in accordance with the strictures of modern society. In constrained environments I can become defensive, overly aggressive, short. I want to always be open, fierce but gentle, loving and light, courageous enough to follow my true path despite the doubts and scorn of others.
How to cling to that courage? I am not entirely sure, but as an artist I believe that an image always helps. I have shared before that posting pictures of an ideal can help me achieve it. Then I encouraged all to "Visualize the creative self while you are filling your space with inspirational objects, sights, and sounds. On the bulletin board above the desk where I write, wedged in between soaring landscapes, I keep a picture of myself on the Copper River with no makeup, camping hair, a sunburn, and an absolutely happy smile. A similar picture of myself is propped behind the easel where I paint. That is the me I want to be – that is the portrait of a happy, creative woman. That ideal, my ideal, reminds me to harness the energy of that woman whenever I pick up a pen or a paintbrush. Putting up pictures of yourself is neither modest nor socially acceptable, but it can be inspiring, and that is what matters." I remain convinced, and first resolve to have enough adventures to be able to say, a year from now, "there is the picture of what I became in 2010."
Also, in no particular order, in 2010 I resolve to:
- trust - the strength of my foundation, myself, and Spirit
- cultivate faith - in myself, my God, my visions, and my path
- walk - free of fear, without hesitation, and with a laugh
- remain - inspired, creative, happy
I'll keep you posted as I work to sustain these resolutions. In the meantime, Happy New Year!
